


the gentleness that comes (not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it)

by neosanctuaire



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: #AKIRA: eiwata is canon kings, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Weddings, YES the title is from a richard siken poem leave me aloneeee, and its me so just a LITTLE angst... for flavor, eiwata are getting fucking married, i did research ok, ive havent been to a wedding since i was 6.5 years old so pls just accept this as is, not quite beta'd, very background yuzutori
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24385123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosanctuaire/pseuds/neosanctuaire
Summary: At the center of everything there is Wataru. The anxious spasm of his heart beating frantic in his chest, all the blood still wet on his hands, every second of the last five years — the reason he’s still alive at all. Wataru is his perfect circle, his ring of gold — with Wataru everything begins and ends. Eichi has already worshipped Wataru for a lifetime, but mortal love is messy. It has a steep learning curve, but every day Eichi tries a little harder.“I’m ready.”
Relationships: Hibiki Wataru/Tenshouin Eichi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	the gentleness that comes (not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it)

**Author's Note:**

> "we have not touched the stars,  
> nor are we forgiven, which brings us back  
> to the hero's shoulders and the gentleness that comes,  
> not from the absence of violence, but despite  
> the abundance of it. the lawn drowned, the sky on fire,  
> the gold light falling backward through the glass  
> of every room. i'll give you my heart to make a place  
> for it to happen, evidence of a love that transcends hunger.  
> is that too much to expect? that i would name the stars  
> for you?"
> 
> snow and dirty rain - richard siken
> 
> i know him & especially this poem are sort of a haha in fic writing now bc of how many r18 fics have the first line as the title but he is my favourite poet let me have this one.  
> please read crush and war of the foxes his poetry anthologies.

He was never supposed to live this long. 

Tori is beside him, fussing with his suit just as he has been for the last fifteen or so minutes without pause. Yuzuru is trying to pry Tori’s eager paws off of the clean white fabric without luck. The pair of them both sound like they’re underwater. 

Eichi’s reflection in the full length mirror in front of him hasn’t got a hair out of place, dressed in an immaculate white suit with a single blue rose pinned to his lapel. He drums his fingers gently against his thigh, just to prove to himself that that really is him in the mirror — it is, of course, and when he pinches the skin through the fabric of his slacks he doesn’t wake up.

He has done this before; he has woken up clammy and feverish in his bed, fingers gripping into the skin of his thigh through his pyjama bottoms. Tori and Yuzuru are still bickering beside him, and he is still making confused eye contact with himself in the mirror. 

It’s real — it’s his wedding day. He’s in love, he is loved, and he’s getting married to the man he’s spent his life chasing. It shouldn’t be real, but as hard as his brain works to convince himself this is all some kind of beautiful illusion the truth remains. He’s getting married.

“You’re supposed to save the tears for the aisle.” 

Keito’s hand is burning hot on his shoulder, and Eichi instinctively raises a hand to his cheek to make sure he isn’t actually crying — he’s not, but he supposes he probably does look like he’s going to. 

“I suppose you  _ would  _ be the expert,” he teases him, only to be met with a pinch to his cheek. 

Tori squawks, ducking away from Yuzuru to bat Keito’s hand away as fast as he can. “You’re going to ruin his face!” Keito looks hopefully at Yuzuru over Tori’s head, but is met with a shrug — he visibly deflates as Tori jabs a finger into his chest. “It’s Eichi-sama’s special day and I won’t let anything ruin it, and that includes even the childhood friend character!”

“I won’t touch Eichi’s face again,” Keito says, stepping away from the finger being repeatedly jabbed into his chest. 

“I just finished fixing his suit, too! Just don’t touch him at all! No one can touch him!” Tori’s voice warbles, and though his eyes are still red at the rims from crying earlier, he is clearly on the brink of tears again. “I-If anyone causes any problems I-I’ll —” 

Eichi reaches out to pat Tori’s head just as he begins crying again, instinctively lurching in to bury his face in Eichi’s chest. As soon as he realizes what he’s done Tori pulls away, devastated, and his cries turn to sobs as he covers his face with his hands. A muffled “ _ I’m _ the problem!” escapes from behind his hands.

“It’s unbecoming to cry so much at someone else's wedding, Bochama,” Yuzuru chides, but rotates Tori and pulls him into a hug regardless. Tori smacks him on the arm and says something completely incomprehensible to Eichi, but Yuzuru seems to understand it just fine because he replies with a much softer, “yes, I know.” 

Eichi can’t help but smile, watching as Yuzuru calms Tori down for the umpteenth time today. Keito doesn’t seem to share his tender interest, but watches the ritual with rapt attention nonetheless. For the amount of miracles Yuzuru works when it comes to Tori, Eichi can only wonder why he’s still only a butler. 

Tori pulls his head out from Yuzuru’s chest and looks up at him, snotty and red in the face. Yuzuru flicks him in the center of his forehead, but smiles slightly regardless. 

Right, of course. That would be why. 

“I hate to interrupt, but if I could ask you two to take your seats…” Anzu is standing with her head poking in the doorway, pointing to Tori and Yuzuru. “We’re about ready to begin, so…” 

“They’re about ready to begin—” Tori sniffles, and Yuzuru grabs him by the arm and starts hauling him off toward the door.

“Thank you,” he nods at Anzu as he passes her, before disappearing out into the hall with a squirming Tori in tow. 

“Are you two about ready?” Anzu asks. “We’re just waiting for everyone to take their seats, I think we should be good to start in about ten minutes.” 

“Okay.” Eichi thinks there must be more he should say, but his brain grinds to a stubborn halt. “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Anzu dips her head and disappears back beyond the door, likely to wrangle the last of their guests into their seats. 

This is happening — this is actually happening. Eichi’s heart takes off at a sparrow’s pace, and he turns abruptly to Keito. “I think I’m going to faint.”

“You’re not.” 

“Then I think I’m having a heart attack.”

“You’re clearly not.” 

“Keito, I’m dying.” 

“No, you aren’t,” Keito sighs. He steps forward and takes Eichi by the shoulders as if to steady him. “I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic, even a simple man like me can acknowledge the two of you are soulmates.”   


“That’s terribly cheesy, even for you,” Eichi groans. 

“Then stop behaving in a manner that makes me feel the need to say them,” Keito responds simply. 

Eichi frowns. “My palms are sweating. I don’t want him to touch my sweaty hands.” 

“One of your first interactions with the man was throwing up on him, I think he can put up with your gross hands.”

Eichi makes a startled noise and smacks Keito on the bicep. “D-Don’t bring that up at a time like this!”

“Hmm? Should I take it out of my toast then?”

“ _ Keito! _ ”

“I’m joking,” Keito reassured him. “Now tell me what’s actually wrong with you.” 

Eichi looks cross for a moment, but when Keito fails to say anything else he lets the expression drop. “I—” something catches in his throat, and he reminds himself he isn’t supposed to cry yet. “I’m scared I’m going to do this wrong. I— I never thought I’d get this far. I don’t want to ruin it. I feel like I’m going to ruin it.”

Keito sighs, squeezing Eichi’s arms gently. “You have a unique talent for ruining things.” Eichi scowls at him. “If this was going to be ruined, you would have done it by now. I don’t think it can be.”

“Is that supposed to be reassuring?”

“Yes,” Keito answers firmly. “Eichi, you’ve done everything in your power to ruin this man’s life, and he’s still going to meet you down the aisle. Accept that he loves you.” 

Eichi sighs, defeated, and lets his shoulders droop. “Is everything really going to be okay?” 

Not one for platitudes, Keito responds simply with, “I don’t know.” Eichi doesn’t look impressed with the answer in the slightest. “I can’t see the future, and to my knowledge neither can you. You’re probably better off asking your Tenshouin-san to-be — if anyone can divine the future it would be him.” Keito pats Eichi’s arms one last time, before letting his hands fall away. “All I know is that the two of you are in love, and have been for far too long to be going on like a school girl about this.”

“You’re so hard on me...” Eichi pouts. 

“Someone has to be,” Keito shoots back. 

They will bicker forever if given the time, they’ve known each other long enough to have proved it time and time again. Today’s not the day for it, and they’re interrupted by the sound of a fist rapping gently against the door before cracking it open. 

“We’re ready to start,” Anzu says. “Are you ready?”

Eichi stares at her like he’s waiting for someone else to answer for him, so Keito nudges him in the side. It is not exactly gentle, but it never is with Keito, and it does prompt Eichi to answer with an abrupt “yes!”

Anzu looks at him like she’s not convinced by his answer, so he tries again. “I am,” Eichi says, less startled and more sure in his words. He is sure, he reasons with himself — there has never been anything for him to be more sure about. Love is what got him this far in the end, isn’t it? 

At the center of everything there is Wataru. The anxious spasm of his heart beating frantic in his chest, all the blood still wet on his hands, every second of the last five years — the reason he’s still alive at all. Wataru is his perfect circle, his ring of gold — with Wataru everything begins and ends. Eichi has already worshipped Wataru for a lifetime, but mortal love is messy. It has a steep learning curve, but every day Eichi tries a little harder. 

“I’m ready.”

Anzu claps her hands together. “Then let's get this show on the road!” 

She holds the door open while Keito and Eichi make their exit into the hallway. It’s a very short walk outside, Eichi knows this from the rehearsal. And yet, he feels even if he had walked through it a thousand times, he still couldn’t be fully prepared. For someone with everything under firm control, there is something equal parts terrifying and beautiful about it. 

Anzu pokes her head out first, just enough to confirm everything is in place. “And this is where I’ll leave you.” She turns to give Eichi one of her famously charming smiles. “Congratulations.” 

She disappears outside, and Eichi holds his breath as he waits. It’s the same rush as waiting in the wings to go on stage dialled up one hundred. He can feel Keito staring a hole into the back of his head, but he doesn’t turn and look. Though his stomach feels like it’s going to fall out from under him, Eichi knows full well there is no other place he’d prefer to be — his whole life has led him to this moment. To Wataru. 

“Hi there, everybody,” he hears Anzu’s voice over the speakers, and the lively murmur he can hear from outside draws to a close. “We’re ready to begin, so I will ask that you take your seats please. I’ll now introduce Kazehaya Tatsumi, who will be officiating today’s ceremony.” There is a polite applause. “I’ll take my seat now. Please be kind to the grooms, you know how they can be at times like this.” 

There is a devastatingly long moment of silence before a melody from the piano stirs the room alive again. It is not the traditional chorus but something much more lively and optimistic, written specifically for the occasion by a certain red haired knight who for reasons Eichi can completely understand, refused to put his name to the piece. 

Keito nudges his side, and Eichi takes one last deep breath before taking the elbow Keito has extended to him. As far as people to walk him down the aisle, Keito was the obvious choice — his parents aren’t even here, and he wouldn’t have preferred it any different. They, in truth, aren’t the people who have been by his side his whole life — that’s Keito. 

His best friend smiles at him one more time, nodding toward the exit. “After you.”

It’s like he’s learning to walk again, carefully focused on putting one foot in front of the other as he walks them out into the warm sunlight. 

He is greeted with rows of white chairs on either side of the white cloth laid down over the old cobblestone to be their aisle, full of both his and Wataru’s closest friends. He can spot Tori in the crowd immediately turned all the way around in his chair, crying again.

The garden is decorated in soft whites, overflowing with yellow and blue roses. Eichi knows blue roses, he knows the unfulfilled promise they represent with their dyed petals. That unfulfilled promise is one Eichi had attached himself to for years, clinging to the idea of a perfect love untainted by reciprocation. Real love is harder to digest, but when Eichi wakes up before Wataru and catches the look of peace on his face that only exists in their bed before dawn he knows there is no alternative for him. 

And, even if his ever-grasping hands have finally found something to hold, he still likes the way the roses look. There’s one pinned to his lapel, vibrant blue resting right over his heart. 

He doesn’t cry when he sees Wataru at the other entrance to the garden, hand resting on Rei’s bent arm. His stutters in his chest and his breath catches in his throat, but he doesn’t cry. Wataru is beautiful as Wataru always is — to imply anything different would be unforgivable. However, in his neatly pressed white suit with what must be a dozen small yellow roses tucked neatly into his braided hair, he is a beautiful that Eichi has not seen him before. 

It takes everything he has not to grab his fiance and run, leaving the scene behind them — but the ceremony was Wataru’s decision and Eichi knows his heart is set on it. With everything he has, he holds his ground and keeps his feet moving forward at their practiced pace. 

They meet in the middle and Eichi stares at him like he is the sun and Eichi has lived in a windowless room his whole life. Wataru’s eyes twinkle in the light as he smiles broadly, offering out his hand. Eichi continues to stare until Keito nudges him and he remembers there is more to the day than just this. As Eichi reaches out to take Wataru’s hand, Keito pulls his arm away. 

Wataru’s hand is warm in his own as they lace their fingers together. Wataru is warm and alive — he is not the angel Eichi has dreamed about for so long but a man, and he is by his side for as long as Eichi will have him. The thought makes Eichi’s head spin, but a gentle squeeze of his hand brings him back to Earth again.

They walk down the center aisle hand in hand, Keito and Rei trailing behind them as their best men. Every eye in the room is on them but Eichi can’t bear to take his off of Wataru, who seems to feel much the same as him with the amount their eyes meet in sideways glances. It’s a miracle they make it to the front without tripping over their own feet.

As they settle into their place with Rei and Keito on either side of them, Tatsumi clasps his hands together and sighs. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for gathering with us today to witness the union of our beloved friends. There is no greater miracle than that of true love, and as it is so scarce to find we must honor it when it is found. That is what we are doing today.”

“Hand in hand you enter marriage, hand and hand you step out in the light of true love. The hand you freely give to each other is both the strongest and the most tender part of your body. In the years ahead you will need both strength and tenderness.” 

“Be firm in your commitment. Don't let your grip become weak. And yet, be flexible as you go through change. Don't let your hold become intolerable. Strength and tenderness, firm commitment and flexibility, of such is a marriage made, hand in hand.” 

Wataru squeezes his hand again, and Eichi realizes he’s been holding his breath. He knows the words that Tatsumi has said thanks only to the rehearsal — he hasn’t heard a word of them today, lost somewhere in the captivating lilac twinkle of Wataru’s eyes. 

“I’ll call on the both of you now in the presence of your most cherished loved ones to give expression to the commitment you have made to each other.” Tatsumi holds the mic out to Eichi as practiced, and he takes it after only a moment's hesitation. 

They haven’t heard each other’s vows, even if everyone else has heard both of them over a dozen times at this point. It is far more nerve wracking than Eichi had initially thought it would be, but the time for overthinking and hesitating has long since left him behind. All that remains is the plunge. 

“Ah — I have been told I’m known for making speeches, so I’ve done my best to keep my vows… timely.” A laugh ripples through the audience like a calm wave, and it serves to take the edge off. “Wataru, I feel like I have spent my life trying to get to this moment. Without a name for the feeling I admired you, chased after you, raised the Earth to get to you, sought to destroy you, until I finally stood next to you and you taught me the name for that feeling — it’s love. It has always been love.” 

Eichi’s voice wavers, and he has to take a moment to reign himself back in. “I feel like there has never been a day where I have not been looking to you; my faithful jester, my guardian angel, my salvation. You are my miracle, Wataru. This love that I feel, I… I owe this feeling all to you, and I will cherish it as long as I live — I will cherish  _ you _ , my Hibiki Wataru. And I will say nothing of sickness and health, of richer and poorer — know that no matter the circumstance I am yours, Wataru. As long as you’ll have me — forever, I hope.” He sucks in a harsh breath. “That is my promise to you.”

As he lets the breath out it shakes, and he can feel tears welling along his bottom lashes but he does his best to keep himself in one piece. He’s not supposed to cry during his own vow. However, there  _ are _ sniffles from the guests and Wataru himself wears a very rare expression. He looks truly in awe.

Eichi holds out the mic to him and Wataru takes it without a moment's hesitation, bringing it up to his mouth in a fluid motion and then… nothing happens. Wataru blinks, Eichi stares at him. In his silence he blinks several times, and there is a soft murmur through the crowd. “Wataru..?” Eichi says softly, voice fragile. 

“S-Sorry!” Before Eichi’s brain can spiral down a long,  _ long _ list of worst case scenarios, Wataru finally speaks. “I… I had a lot I had planned to say. If I check my pockets the vow I had written down is in one of them. I was going to release birds.” Wataru’s words are unsteady, wavering as he forces his voice loud enough to be heard. “This character, this ‘Hibiki Wataru, the man,’ is not a character I know how to play well. You can say I am… out of practice. Eichi, I stand before you not as ‘Hibiki Wataru, the idol,’ or ‘Hibiki Wataru, the actor’ — just the man. I am… still concerned that is inadequate.” 

There has never been a stupider thing Eichi has heard come from the man, but he stays silent. “I hope you will accept a creature like this, for this is what I have always wanted you to have. My selfish wish did not end standing on stage with you, that was a lie. I want to stand beside you forever, here in a world where we finally don’t have to wake up and the dream can go on forever.” His voice cracks and a tear rolls down his cheek, and Eichi finally realizes that he is crying too. 

“You gave me this beautiful reality, Eichi. You showed me ‘this world’ was worth living in. I stand in front of you as Hibiki Wataru today only because of you — there is no one I could have given this bare self to but you. Thank you for accepting it.” Wataru pauses, trying to regain his composure somewhat. “My promise is simply this: I am yours, Eichi, for all of our lives and then forever after that.”

Wataru abruptly hands the mic back to Tatsumi, and tries to discreetly wipe his eyes. Eichi is far beyond discreetly doing anything about his situation, face red and tear swollen. Tori will have to do his makeup again before the photos, and he’ll give him hell for it. 

Tatsumi clears his throat, wiping a stray tear as well. Sap. “Absolutely beautiful,” he sighs. “Now, the rings?” Eichi reaches into his pocket to produce one simple gold band, and Wataru does the same. 

Eichi reaches out with a trembling hand to take Wataru’s in his own. “With this ring I give you everything I could possibly offer you, Wataru. Everything I am is yours to keep,” his voice trembles as he slides the ring into place on Wataru’s finger. It shines in the light, and Eichi’s heart jumps at the site of it.

Wataru does the same, only with more ease. He takes Eichi’s hand and squeezes it, before finally speaking. “You have always had me. I hope this ring will make you believe it.” 

As he slides the ring onto his finger, Eichi’s breath hitches and he thinks he’s finally going to break down sobbing. Somehow it doesn’t happen, even if his body feels like it’s collapsing in on himself. He stares at their hands as Wataru clasps them together, twin rings bright like the sun. 

“By the love that has brought you here today and by the vows you have pledged, it is with great pleasure, and with the power vested in me that I now finally present to you the newly wed couple, Eichi and Wataru.” Tatsumi sniffles. “You may now kiss your spouse.” 

It is Wataru who moves immediately to pull Eichi into his arms as close as he can get him, sealing their lips together for what feels like the first time all over again. Eichi grips at his biceps for dear file, smiling against his lips as he uses Wataru to hold himself steady.

“I love you,” Wataru whispers against his lips.

“I love you, too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> this was a commission by alexxa on twitter.  
> i haven't written anything since last december so really i owe my whole ass life to her.  
> thank you so much!!! ♡ ♡ ♡ 
> 
> you can find me on the tweeter @ neosanctuaire. i love eiwata. im glad theyre married.


End file.
